See, I’ve been traveling this past month – quite a lot (hello Louisiana, and Oklahoma and Portland!) And I was thrilled when I was able to work in a quick trip down to Minneapolis to see my newborn niece, Ellie Lund. She’s adorable!
However….
Well, I’m not sure what’s going on here but….
Here’s a picture of Ellie and me…
Now, I’d like you to just compare it for one moment to the picture of my son Peter, holding Ellie.
Okay, what’s the deal here?
Probably I need to fill her in on a few things.
First, Ellie, you need to know that Peter has issues with destroying things. Like pens. And tennis balls. Someday, when you’re older, you might walk into your dad’s office (with his two gigantic computers), and discover a gel wrist supporter. I’ll have you know that your cousin tore one of these apart to examine the insides, and carried the gooey, jelly contents around the house for a month, depositing it in his carpet, his Linenshed bedding, his walls.
You might think this is cool. Your mother won’t. Stop smiling.
You might also want to consider the fact that he is, at heart, a football player – having made varsity in 9th grade. Which means, at any given time, he might drop into a three point stance, and, well….hike you. At the very least, if you hear the words – “Go long!” you should start to tremble. Stop smiling.
And then there’s the fact that, at the age of 15, he still has a woobie, a smelly ripped blanket that he rolls himself into at night like a burrito. Again, you might think this is cute, unless you get near enough to smell it. I assure you, Ellie, that his charming smile doesn’t make up for the odor seeping from his teenage boy room. Don’t be duped.
Stop smiling.
I, on the other hand, am kind and bring you gifts and know how to burp you without even ONE urge to do a lateral out to the running back.
C’mon Ellie, work with me.
Oh, Ellie, Ellie, Ellie…this isn’t helping at all.
*sigh*
Signed, shaking my head in Minnesota