If you’ve read my story, Evergreen, you know I lost a child sixteen years ago through miscarriage. Regardless of how many years pass, you never forget (Susan May Warren, the author of Evergreen used her own experiences with miscarriage (4 of them) as she penned my story.)
Here’s a glimpse into my journal as God comforted me.
Our Lord has written the promises of the resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in Springtime.
Martin Luther
Thick, silent tears coursed down my friend’s cheeks as she grieved the loss of her baby. I took her hand and held it, understanding her pain all too well.
Five years earlier I had stumbled from the Doctor’s office in agonized disbelief. Our last child had died in my womb. Pain; Emptiness…how quickly a miscarriage turns joy to sorrow. At home, I slumped into the recliner and held my other children, sobbing into their tiny shoulders. They patted me, confused, until their father came home and took over.
I was inconsolable. How could this happen…would I ever have children again? Fear choked me and I felt paralyzed, unable to cry out to God for help. Past midnight, I sat in the darkened living room, despair building a wall between me and my Lord.
But He was there, a whisper of strength lingering in the silence. I knew I had to confront the One who held my life and my baby’s life, in his hands.
“Why?” I sobbed.
No answers. Instead I found comfort. Psalm 107:35, “He turned the desert into pools of water and the parched ground into flowing springs.” What does that mean, Lord?
But I already knew. I wandered in a desert of grief, but ahead of me, and my baby, waited a spring of life. I still had a child – and because of my faith, because of Christ, I would see that child again. Hope is the treasure of those who trust in Him.
Simplify and Savor idea: Today, read a Psalm, experience David’s emotions and savor a moment of gratefulness for the gift of Heaven.
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why are you so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, For I will yet praise him my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42:5
How has God ministered to you as you’ve encountered deep loss?
Thanks for reading!
Ingrid Christiansen
Ingrid Christiansen and her amazing family are featured in Susan May Warren’s award-winning, best-selling series, The Christiansen Family. Her newest book, Evergreen: A Winter Novella is available now as an ebook or in Hardcover (which would make an excellent Christmas gift!)